who am i?
20
female
fiery leo
hot
sexy
McKenna devotee!
pluggers
Erica
Jill
Lara
Krystle
The OC!
- @ 10:44 p.m. on February 14, 2005
I am so SICK of all of this shit that I keep getting. It's not fair. I know that a lot of this is my problem, and I have no one else to blame but myself and all of that shit, but I don't car, this is what I feel like writing about today, so if you don't want to read it, then just close the box right now.
No matter how much effort I put in, all of the time, I get nothing back in return, and it's really pissing me off right now. No matter what there's always something. "I'm tired," "I'm doing something with other people," "I'm not feeling well," "My back hurts," "Maybe," "We'll see," etc etc ETC. It's so frustrating. Every now and then there's something good, but it's just that, every once in a while. And I'm starting to lose my mind! I wish I had enough will power, then I could just wait it out. But I don't. I have like, no will power right now. I always cave. And he relies on that I'm sure. I just wish for once, he would see what he is doing. And that one day this will bite him in the ass, cause I know it will. I don't deserve this. I know I deserve more than this. I know I am better than basically grovelling at someone's feet. How funny thing's have gone. What else is new though. I'm sounding more like a broken record than anything else.
I was recently having a conversation with one of my friends, we were up until 4 am on Saturday night. And we were talking about a lot of things, and one of those things was relationships. And the strengths I have are the strengths she wants, and vice versa. She can say good bye like that. In a second, and doesn't attach herself to anything or anyone. Or let it be known, anyways. She has too much pride. I on the other hand cannot say good bye, and push my pride away, as I have done plenty of times throughout the last year. And that I think is way worse than her. Am I the only one who is out of their mind to go to such lengths? Because I will say one thing, not everyone is gonna chase you, and the one who does, and you run away from , is probably the one who's best suited for you, only your not maybe the best person for them, because your too ignorant to see it.